Hey guys! Felt impressed to share with you today the 4th encounter in a series that happened in the fall of last year. These encounters with Jesus radically changed my life, my perspectives and how I function. I believe that these intense times with Jesus is also a reflection of what God is doing throughout the church right now in preparation for the greatest harvest of souls ever to take place upon the earth. This is a time of purging, deliverance and healing to ready the body for Kingdom babies. This is a critical time that we are living in that demands a response to the call of God.
This final encounter with God came again during a time of worship. Very similar to the previous times, I found myself face to face with Jesus. There was an intense look about Him. There was a real sense of the fear of the Lord that came over. It was if He was looking clear through me into places that, even I was afraid to look at. Mind you, in the three previous weeks I had been confronted with a broken heart, a twisted thought process in my mind, and deep resentment in my soul. Every area of pride and arrogance had come to the surface. All performance and striving had been exposed. I was a mess. I was embarrassed, frustrated, and ashamed. What could possibly be next? That is exactly what I thought.
Jesus again, with a serious face looks down as if He is looking into my soul. He communicated to me through His movements and manurisms that He wanted me to look in there too. But I felt this overwhelming fear come over me. It felt impossible. Like there was no way I could ever have the courage to face what was coming. But, I knew I had to make a choice. I could either shrink back from the thing that was trying to kill me or follow Jesus into the hole to have it dealt with once and for all. With that, I looked with my spiritual eyes into myself. All of the sudden, I was rushed into a very dark place inside myself. The darkest place yet. It was a place so hidden it was like a vacuum. There was no light, no sound, no smell, nothing at all. I found myself in a place that totally devoid of anything. The only thing that kept me from freaking out was that I could sense the presence of Jesus.
It seemed like an eternity. Literally like forever, just waiting in absolute silence. Then I saw a crack of light in the middle of the room. It wasnt much but it was enough for me to move towards it. As I moved towards the light, I began to notice that what I was walking towards was a trunk. It looked like and old antique, heavy duty trunk that had a large brass clasp on it. The clasp was all tarnished and warn. The trunk was beat up terribly. It looked like it had been on quite a journey (I hope you get the symbolism here of what I had been dragging around my whole life). I stepped up to the trunk and Jesus looked at me like He wanted me to open it. Again, fear rushed over me. I was absolutely terrified to see what was in here. But I pushed through, reached out and slowly lifted the trunk lid.
Inside was what looked like a movie playing. This movie was not just any movie. It was a play by play of my life, beginning with my childhood. My life began to unfold before me. I saw the pain and grief of the loss of my baby sister who died when I was just a little boy. The kind of loss that a family never really gets over. That was just the beginning, from there it continued on. Every unjust thing that had been done to me. Bullying in school. Broken family. A girl that I had been intimate with who had died that I never got to say Im sorry to. The baby that I never got to meet because it was aborted without my input. The broken relationships. The missed opportunities. The people taken out of this world and out of my life too soon. And on and on.
As I watched this movie unfold it raised on question. Why am I seeing this in this trunk? Then I heard God say “Who’s fault is this?” All of the sudden this anger arose in me, quickly followed by guilt, shame, and regret. In that moment I realized that the things that happened that had been out of my control throughout my life, I had, deep down, blamed God for.
I had no idea, that underneath all of the layers I had been resentful and bitter with God over the bad things that happened. All the ugly emotions that came along with that surfaced as well. It was super ugly! I knew it wasnt God’s fault or doing. Sometimes bad things just happen. Unjust situations are just a part of life. Death is part of life. It really had nothing to with God being good. I know He is good but my heart didnt agree totally. My head knew it but my heart wasnt sure.
I repented and released God from all blame. My head and my heart aligned. I ugly cried. Alot! Like alot! It was like I had blamed the person I love the most for all the bad things that had happened in my life. He didn’t do it. And certainly didn’t deserve to be blamed for it. Guess what? He forgave me. He wasn’t even mad over it. Beyond that, He healed my heart from all the hurt. From the loss. I was free!
This is a picture of what God means to do with His bride in this hour. He means to deliver and heal her. He intends to come back for a bride “without spot or wrinkle”. God is setting the captives free. The Church needs to be free. The children of God need to know that God is a good Dad who means good for His kids. He means to heal hearts and redeem lives. Please. Please. Please. Take the time and the measures needed to let God do the deep work in you.
Father I ask right now that you would continue to purify your Body. That you heal hearts, minds, souls, and broken spirits. Even in those who read this, God do a deep work in them that they might move from captivity to a freedomt that they have not known. Please expose by way of your Spirit, do the work that you wish to do on the inside. The enemy has no place there anymore. Jesus have your way! Amen
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